And did those feet

The Church of England is revamping its "Wedding Project" site. It is an interesting venture, particularly aimed at the community (I suppose) that does not go to Church, but because the C of E is 'established' ... that is, it is the State religion of England .... such people have a sense of ownership in a way that is probably not true in Australia.

One of the interesting questions addressed on this hotch potch of a site is whether or not you should sing "Jerusalem" at a wedding (see a sort of answer here) it's a popular song, with a stirring tune which is well-known at a time when not much religious music is. But the words are about something totally unrelated to getting married (debatable I suppose).

One can only imagine why such an issue has such prominence It's to do, I suspect, with a bit of conflict on a whole range of different levels (eg. Churches only allowing certain sorts of music, clergy being dogmatic about what is and what is not acceptable, and couples not really having a clue about what is and what is not appropriate......). One can only imagine.

My policy (which I think has worked quite well) is to be as open as possible. I don't need to inflict my musical taste on people, whilst also remembering I am a guardian of the sacred.

I always begin my spiel with "The church is not hired in the way a secular venue is hired."

Part of the trouble is that people seem to assume that if they pay for something then they should be able to do what they like.

Of course this is not even true of a secular venue, they are often very restrictive in terms of what you can and can't do; where you can sit and what you can throw at the B & G; and certainly you have to drink and eat their products!

Beside all this I am curious given the picture above (taken from the sit) as to how Whoopi Goldberg has apparently become a Vicar in the C of E.

Great wedding

I went to to E & B's rather lovely wedding yesterday. I have known E's family for many years and in fact married her two brothers as well.

She is a very fine professional woman, statuesque and lovely personality. Her fiance is actually an Iranian refugee. Great young man, and a true example of the system working well (if not a little slowly).

It was great to see him stand amidst his brothers and with much of his family who now llive in Australia.

You can imagine that this provides much food for thought, reflection and prayer so I won't try to tell you everything, dear reader. But here are some thoughts.

First, the speeches were all great. Which is not always the case.

But we were all impressed, not in a patronising way with speeches crafted by the best man and the groom.

The great care they took was wondrous.

At many weddings there is too little care, but given that neither was speaking in their first language, I was touched by the careful word choice and the absolute sincerity.

A good dose of humour was present, which is not always easy to get in another language.

Their desire to assert the establishment of this new family and to embrace this lovely woman into their fold was just amazing.

I was moved to watch B stand with his father and mother and their sons and daughter, and have their photos taken...while we all have such photos at weddings...this did have about it the great sense of victory.

Second, perhaps the best thing about the wedding ceremony (though the bride looked stunning) was the ululation. ... you know that high pitched African trilling ... as E walked into the garden this spontaneously erupted. I hadn't quite expected it, but it was so thrilling and happened several times , well often, during the night.

As the excitement and joy just boiled over it would be picked up and thrill us all!

Now this is Australia, there is always something like this at weddings because we come from such diverse cultural backgrounds. I guess we will find something like this when S marries D (of Hungarian extraction) next year.

Third, as I prayed for those who weren't there. Particularly thinking of Claire, E's grandmother who died not so long ago, I suddenly realised that who knew what else this refugee family had had to bear, and who was not there for them today and who this prayer might refer to.

And then, lastly, there was just the dancing. It looked a lot like young men showing off, but it was great!!!

Quacking like a duck

Some will be interested that two priests of the Church of England (in England) went through a blessing of their civil union at one of the great London churches (here) last weekend.
The event is, of course, worth reporting; though I am also interested in the reporting of the event.
The clever Rector who performed the service seemed well on top of the histrionics of various reporters who were trying to get him to say he was confronting the Archbishop of Canterbury, he was doing something naughty, or that this was actually a wedding.
He was very careful to say he was doing none of these things; a little too careful maybe.
Reporters didn't actually seem much interested in the morality of the event, but more in the scandal with which it might be associated. This caused the good Rector (not so good in some people's eyes) to declare..."Why has this all of a sudden become about me?"
Perhaps he thought it was the issue that was important. A bit naive really

As the world turns

It was my great pleasure at the weekend to officiate at a wedding of one of my parishioners. I have known the family for nearly forty years. The uncle of the groom and I were mad Anglicans at university together.
His parents, who in a way look exactly the same as they did in 1970...except for the fact that they are frailer...have been faithful church people, I suppose, for all of their lives.
In fact when I said to their parish priest some weeks ago when we were bemoaning how hard things were...Thank God for KK ....and she said to me with liturgical vigour...Yes thank God for KK!
For that reason alone it was sufficient joy to do this wedding.
KK is probably the quintessential Australian born in the 1920s. Of Anglo-Celtic background, stable job for most of his life. Worked hard. Maintains a sense of humour and a strong sense of service, loyalty and friendship. He and CK, as faithful matriarch and patriarch beam benignly over their family...even though it has not been without its pain.

The groom is a great young man, who works hard and has a great sense of humour. He is lively and intelligent and socially and politically aware. His new bride looked, of course, stunning. She is of Cambodian origin though she was actually born in a refugee camp in Bangkok. Her parents finally ended up with their kids in Adelaide, and they sat with quiet and respectful demur throughout the proceedings. Conversation with them is good, though you are never quite sure of the transmission of subtlety from them to me and me to them. Always, always deadly polite.
The best man, older brother, I married five years ago. His wife today looking quite the mother, and their two daughters (both of whom I have baptised) looking gorgeous. Well, the best man spoke with a humour and dignity that shows the maturation of the marriage process on a man. And it was good to see it.
Did I mention that the uncle of the bride who works in a remote aboriginal community as the administrator/carer/ambulance driver...wasn't actually there, because well he lives remotely? Or that the groom's sister has a boyfriend who is Iranian.
I bumped into a man who told me he was baptised in the church where I am the priest, and he was blown away when I told him I knew his mother.
Much food for thought about our interconnectedness....I tend not to think of it as being inbred!
But any way it does suggest much about the nature of Australian society.
For those who live in small worlds where two chops and three vegetables automatically present themselves for dinner still, and everyone's ancestors were born in England, mainly, or Europe...it is not like that. Probably has never been like that. Thank God for open families. Thank God for culture-clash. Thank God for opportunities like this.